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Festivity 1: The Twelve Days of Chanukwanzaa

On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
A new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
Two boxer gloves,
And a new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
Three French blades,
Two boxer gloves,
And a new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
Four porkchop birds,
Three French blades,
Two boxer gloves,
And a new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
Five ZALGO shades! (One here!)
Four porkchop birds,
Three French blades,
Two boxer gloves,
And a new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
Six admins working,
Five ZALGO shades!
Four porkchop birds,
Three French blades,
Two boxer gloves,
And a new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
Seven inner beings,
Six admins working,
Five ZALGO shades!
Four porkchop birds,
Three French blades,
Two boxer gloves,
And a new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
Eight rigged arenas,
Seven inner beings,
Six admins working,
Five ZALGO shades!
Four porkchop birds,
Three French blades,
Two boxer gloves,
And a new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
Nine Pipe Snakes hissing,
Eight rigged arenas,
Seven inner beings,
Six admins working,
Five ZALGO shades!
Four porkchop birds,
Three French blades,
Two boxer gloves,
And a new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
Ten gifts from Hankvi,
Nine Pipe Snakes hissing,
Eight rigged arenas,
Seven inner beings,
Six admins working,
Five ZALGO shades!
Four porkchop birds,
Three French blades,
Two boxer gloves,
And a new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
Lots of sex with Luna,
Ten gifts from Hankvi,
Nine Pipe Snakes hissing,
Eight rigged arenas,
Seven inner beings,
Six admins working,
Five ZALGO shades!
Four porkchop birds,
Three French blades,
Two boxer gloves,
And a new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
Twelve Speddos-puppets,
Lots of sex with Luna,
Ten gifts from Hankvi,
Nine Pipe Snakes hissing,
Eight rigged arenas,
Seven inner beings,
Six admins working,
Five ZALGO shades!
Four porkchop birds,
Three French blades,
Two boxer gloves,
And a new villain every story!
On the day of Chanukwanzaa, my pets all gave to me:
One bizarre portal...
Twelve easy battles,
Eleven bosses murdered,
Ten stories upwards,
One Commie Raptor,
(One toasted lizard!)
Seven days rejoicing,
Six goshdarn plot holes,
Five blessings from Wrathslicer-the-Indichevious-Bloodkillerdeath-of-Darkness! (We hope we got that right!)
Found a way home,
Through the Wonder Jungle,
Found the twat and got ourselves
Shenny's head mounted on a tree!

Festivity 2: Christmas at LDZX

(To the tune of Christmas in Hollywood)

Revelian: *Sighs* (This is f/cking stupid.) It’s Christmas at LDZX, Santa’s looking for some sex...
Iala: So meet me under the mistletoe, let’s f/ck!
Everyone else: *Facepalms*
Ludicrine: It’s Chanukwaa’ in NHC, Pasid’s spinning in her pe- *Gunshot*
Everyone: So meet me by the lotus, let’s get drunk!
Stickbeard: AYE, MATEYS! SHIVER ME TIMBERS AND F/CK ME RAW! IT BE CHANUKWANZAA AND ME MUM’S BIRTHDAY ON THE SAME DAY!
Everyone: It’s Christmas at LDZX, Iala’s looking for some sex, so meet her under the mistletoe and f/ck!
It’s Chanukwaa’ in NHC, Pasid’s spinning in her pe- *Train flies by* So meet me by the lotus, let’s get drunk!
Zoshi: J-j-j-ust a little story about Chanukkwanzaa elves,
(Revelian: Hey! No more stories!)
Ludicrine: About some bad kids who trolled their past selves,
Zoshi: We gave some gifts and some lovin’, bro,
Ludicrine: The weird kind of love that you- IALA, NO!
(Bruidic: Hehehe...)
Zoshi: Bruidic stole from a poor old hatter,
(Bruidic: Oh, sh/t! *Runs off*)
Ludicrine: So we stopped by his house with a mad Dark Matter,
Zoshi: He served up his /ss on a silver platter,
Ludicrine: And that’s how we pleased a well-dressed salamander!
Zoshi: And Pinkie was partying way too hard,
Ludicrine: She was waking up everyone and ruining the yard,
Zoshi: I had no cupcakes, but she needed a snack,
Ludicrine: So she took him upstairs and-
Zoshi: Don’t tell them that!
Ludicrine: It’s Ludicrine, got some wine in my flask!
Zoshi: Your name was pronounced differently a while back...
Random Gridmask: Like, oh my god, are you RaptorZ?
Zoshi: Dangit, we’ll never make it big, will we?
Ludicrine, Samuel, Lazro, David: Been accused of being bad kids, but we go caroling as is-
Zoshi: Dr. Sand just Pestered me!!
Ludicrine: Jegus Chrysler, why this week?!
Ao Oni: SO WE DON’T GIVE A F/CK IF YOU’RE NAUGHTY OR NICE-
Grodus: You might still get electrocuted or frozen in ice!
Shenanigans: It’s all in the script!
Ao Oni: SO QUAKE IN FEAR!
Ao Oni, Grodus, Shenanigans: THE VILLAINS ARE TAKING CHANUKWANZAA THIS YEAR!!
Revelian: F/CK NO.
(Ao Oni: Oh sh/t. *Slashing and breaking noises in background*)
Stickbeard: AYE, TOO MANY PRESENTS TO BUY!! *Sobbing*
Everyone: It’s Christmas at LDZX, Iala’s looking for some sex, so meet her under the mistletoe and f/ck!
It’s Chanukwaa’ in NHC, Pasid’s spinning in her pe- *Bird caw* So meet me by the lotus, let’s get drunk!
Revelian: I’m about to serve it up for all you lot! Bad kids, worse kids, and-
Poisonshot: Poisonshot! We stayed at the home and played Sonic Ten! *Slashed in half*
Revelian: Don’t f/cking step on my line again!!
Ao Oni: YOU WEAK BUFFOON, GO TO HELL! I’LL MAKE YOU- *Thud*
Poisonshot: Haha, he fell!
Ludicrine: Wait, how the heck did he come back to life?!
Mori: His pink eye revived him from that nasty strife.
Zoshi: So this other time, I thought I met Santa,
Ludicrine: Everyone shut up and stop your banter!
Zoshi: So I got in his sleigh, but something was fishy- He passed the road-head and started to hit me!
Underneath his suit was just wires and sparkplugs. Instead of bags of presents, he had bags of bad drugs.
I pulled off his cloak- He was a mecha-monster! It was Grodus!
Ludicrine: That horrid man’s an imposter!
Zoshi: Next, he started to aggressively advance, but then he tripped over his conksuck [sic] boots by imigrants [sic].
I slashed at his robes and I slapped his b/tch mouth, then I hijacked the sleigh and brought it down South!
Revelian: I’ve heard a lot of sh/tty tales, but that one was the craziest.
Grodus: I’m embarrassed to say that it’s true to the latest.
Samuel: When it comes to cheer, this guy’s insufficient.
Revelian: I thought I knocked you out, you f/cking peasant! *Fighting noises, Sam shouts out “Wombo Combo!” at one point*
Stickbeard: YE USELESS WENCHES! I NEED PRESENTS FOR ME MOTHER! ARGHHHH!!
Everyone: It’s Christmas at LDZX, Iala’s looking for some sex, so meet her under the mistletoe and f/ck!
It’s Chanukwaa’ in NHC, Pasid’s spinning in her pe- *Speddos screeches* So meet me by the lotus, let’s get drunk!
(Revelian shouting and Speddos screeching can be heard, as well as violent noises)
Stickbeard: AYE, T’IS HOPELESS! I’VE NO GIFTS FOR ME DEAR MUM ON HER BIRTHDAY! AND ON CHANUKWANZAA, TOO!
AAAAUGH, HOW SHALL I EVER GET BACK ON THE SEAS WITHOUT EVER- (At this point, Speddos is defeated and Revelian is audibly panting) 
Revelian: SHUT THE F/CK UP! *Pushes down stairs*
Stickbeard: AAAAAAAAH!
(Lazro: I told you, dog!)
Everyone: It’s Christmas at LDZX, Iala’s looking for some sex, so meet her under the mistletoe and f/ck!

It’s Chanukwaa’ in NHC, Pasid’s spinning in her pe- *Song cuts off*


Lazro: Bai. Maiye jooh haz ugh gude Chanukwanzaan dei.


Hankvi: *Panting*

Zoshi: What happened?

Hankvi: .... Remember that time you said the building would look nicer if it was moved about a meter down the block?

Zoshi: Yeah, what does tha-

Hankvi: I moved it. *Collapses*

Everyone: What?!


And thus, everyone bought Hankvi all the alcohol. Happy Chanukwanzaa to all!

Festivity 3: The True Meanings of Chanukwanzaa

The first five users to guess the main points of Chanukwanzaa will receive one of the five Spirits of Chanukwanzaa! Guess away in the comments! (All of the pets are ⚥)

  • Chanukin Chanukin, the Chanukwanzaa Spirit of Family (Poisonshot)
  • Chanukabej Chanukabej, the Chanukwanzaa Spirit of Sustenance (ZoshiX)
  • Chanukard Chanukard, the Chanukwanzaa Spirit of Gifts (Look-a-troopa)
  • Chanukarol Chanukarol, the Chanukwanzaa Spirit of Song (A, Mori)
  • Chanukueve Chanukueve, the Chanukwanzaa Spirit of Blessing (Samuel17)

Festivity 4: The Celebratory Celebration of Somethingorother

Comment below with any 3 digit number for a chance to win a prize of some kind!

A user would choose a three-digit number, which would then have all of its individual numbers added up (ex: 100 would be 1+0+0) and have the result be multiplied by whatever number the comment was. Users could have attempted multiple tries, being one per day and each try overriding previous attempts. Look-a-troopa, whose sixth comment of 508 equated to 78, which was the closest to the target number, 77.

As you may have noticed, this is not, in fact, a Chanukwanzaa Festivity.

The ANCIENT SONG has fallen down
The RAINBOW ONE now wears her crown
The TRUEST HEIR now seeks her mark
The QUEEN OF PLAGUE, the GRINDER DARK

Dark Grinder "Dark Grinder" (AKA Zymote Antiphon) is one of the siblings of Miracle Matter, according to lore. Currently trapped in the form of an SR Monster (Green Big Mutated Crescent Eel), she has mastery over the otherworldly element of Cutter- which, due to its foreign nature, ends up as a Physical element on SR World that causes dimensional rifting and insanity to adversaries when used. She can fire off segments of her body as well as extend blades and spines from them. Her unsealed form looks similar to the likes of any other Dark Matter, donning a cloak of forest green and crescent-shaped goggles. Her weapon of choice in this form is a curved saber. In her "flower" form, she looks similar to her SR World sealed form, though with only three segments, no tail end, and no eyes. Her moves in this form are limited to floating through air and ramming into opponents.

She, after seeking Jozitolph for ages, has been driven mad and has found herself in the Bizarro Fan-Ball universe. She was sent back through to this universe through unknown means, and it is not entirely known who or what was sent across as her counterpart, though she is assumed to be an Outsider. She has been entrusted into the care of Look-a-troopa.

All that mush aside, on with the festivities! We still have a day left to celebrate!

Festivity 5: Teh Edn

With the dawn of a new age year potato sweep upon us, I wish everyone joyous days beyond the 2013 Chanukwanzaa festival. Thank you, everyone!

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