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SFANB Intermission 1 Page 1

A young man stands in his bedroom. What might the name of this young man be?


>[I] Mr. McDarkanimenerd

SFANB Intermission 1 Page 2

Oh, of course that's not his name! This certainly isn't a name befitting of such a protagonist! He proceeds to regard your suggestion as nonexistent and reveals his true name.


>[I] Reveal name

SFANB Intermission 1 Page 3

Yes, his name is A Moriam. Right. Anyway...

Your name as you claim it--or rather, the nickname you prefer-- is MORI.

You are 5 FEET 10 INCHES, or 178 CENTIMETERS tall. You wear GLASSES. You want to make it clear that you wear GLASSES so that others can note the similarities between you and two different characters from two different ANIMES that you've watched. Your favorite subject in school is PHYSICS. You have TYPE AB BLOOD. Why do you want to point this out? Because there's been a superstition going around that people with TYPE AB BLOOD have an evil split personality, and you want to clarify that this is NOT TRUE.

As for your FAVORITE FOODS: You favor anything spicy, and you do not care for SWEET THINGS. As for your personality- You are calculating yet sometimes you misstep on things. You enjoy time and talk with acquaintances, though you will often behave in an antisocial or shy way. You usually keep to yourself at times. For some reason, your FASHION SENSE is not very INTELLECTUAL at all.

Your InquireAcquaintance Tag is anatomicMegane [AM]. You prefer to type with perfect grammar and syntax. However, you are known to break this in some cases. []_[]


[I] ====>

(Image of Mori's computer flashing/beeping, Mori looking at it.)

Oh, what's this?

It seems that your friend is attempting to message you. Let's see what he wants to say.


> [I] Answer friend

(Image of some of the text on the screen.)

headlessYandere [HY] began inquiring anatomicMegane [AM] at 4:02 PM
AM: Hello.
HY: hello hi mori.
HY: and how are you today?
AM: I'm fine, Haru.
AM: Pleasantries aside, I do believe that you did mean to contact me now for a good reason, right?
HY: yes mori you're right.
HY: i wanted to talk to you about something really important.
HY: it involves a lot of magic and science and things you wouldn't believe. and the things i've been having you do prior to this day are very important as well! as your server player, i'll be responsible for helping guide you all the way through it.
AM: Alright. It's good to know that I'll finally figure out what all this is for...
HY: yeah.
HY: and there's another thing that it's relating to. have you notice what's been happening today?
AM: What's been happening today? I don't think I know what you mean.
HY: really? you haven't heard or seen it? it's all over the news!
HY: i'll give you a while to go and look up the news today. then you'll see. i'd tell you myself but i have to go get the game right now. i want to be careful with the time...
AM: Alright.
anatomicMegane [AM] ceased being inquired by headlessYandere [HY] at 4:05 PM

> [I] Go look up what he's talking about

(Insert Fox News Page Here)

You decide it would be best to go and check out what Haru is talking about. You go to your regular news site and check out recent events. You hope the news isn't too bad.


[I] ====>

(Insert image of charred newsmans' corpse here and a news page with the caption "Innumerable Citizens Killed by Meteors")

Oh, dear.


> [I] ====>

(Insert image of the same article only more of a close up on it)

It appears that a series of meteors have begun to strike Ludus. It also appears that a lot of them have hit the station that Fawcks News has been broadcasting from. You feel pretty bad for them. Yeah, it's not like that had the best views on political issues, and the reporting wasn't too good either, but at least they aren't as bad as Sea NN.

The audience takes a while to figure out your play on words before realizing that this is a reference to Fox News and CNN. They let out a slight laugh and continue reading the story.

And you also decide to progress through the story. It's been a while since the person who's supposed to be writing this did anything to it, but in his defense, he was busy and it's hard to find inspiration for writing. Whatever. Just go talk to Haru again.


> [I] Talk to Haru again.

(Insert another thing here.)

anatomicMegane [AM] began pestering headlessYandere [HY] at XX:XX
HY: did you see it?
HY: the thing that happened to fawcks news????
AM: Yes, I saw it.
HY: alright, i guess then what i'm saying it gonna make more sense now.
HY: anyway, there's been a bunch of meteors hitting the planet lately. and it's all connected to this game callled SFANB.
AM: How is it connected, exactly?
HY: that's gonna take some more explaining, but i'll get to that soon enough.
HY: the meteors happen because people started playing the game in the first place. amd since the meteors are falling now, there's only one way to escape them.
HY: you have to play the game.
AM: The game's responsible for all this?
HY: yeah, it'l make more sense later.
AM: Well, how is it going to protect me from any meteors?
HY: when you join a server on the game, then smoeone is able to control yor surroundings with like a virtual reality thingy that's real.
HY: and then they're supposed to activate the game's gadgets, and those teleport you to this place called 'the medium', where the metoers aren't going to hit you.
AM: Hm. Alright, then. I guess if this is the way to go, then I'd better start playing.
HY: alrighty, bro. i already got the game, so i can be your server player. do you have the game yet????
AM: Yes, I have it right here with me.
HY: you're gonna wanna fire it up then.
AM: Alright. I'll take to you again after I've got it all set up.
HY: suonds like a plan, buddy.
anatomicMegane [AM] ceased pestering headlessYandere [HY] at XX:XX

> [I] ====>

(Insert another thing here.)

You suddenly are notice that you are being messaged by another person.


> [I] Answer this guy.

(Image of Jose's planet)
CarbonFibers [CF] began germinating anatomicMegane [AM] at XX:XX
CF: Hello A Mori
AM: Oh, hello, Jose.
AM: Haven't heard from you in a while.
CF: May I Suggest You Buy Some Carbon Diamond
CF: It Is A Carbon Alloy And It Is 5 Times Lighter And 3 Times Stronger Than Carbon Fiber
AM: No thanks, I'm fine with what I have.
CF: May I Offer You A Different Type Of Alloy
CF: I Have Crafted Several Kinds Of Carbon Fiber Alloys They Are Made With Carbon Fiber And Are Better Than Carbon Fiber In Some Way
AM: No thank you.
CF: I Have Done A Lot Of Carbon Fiber Creating
AM: That's good.
CF: A Mori I Have Used The BookS([oul(u)]BURB)helf To Create These Things
AM: Erm.
AM: The what?
CF: The SBURBookshelf It Is A Game Called SFANB Alpha I Have Used The Machine To Create With Carbon Fiber
CF: You Should Also Play The Game A Mori
CF: And Make Carbon Fiber With The Machines
AM: That's... SFANB, huh?
AM: Well, I was just about to play it with Haru as my server player.
AM: So yeah, when I start getting into it I'll be sure to make things with the machines.
CF: Things Made Out Of Carbon Fiber
AM: Among other things, I guess.
CF: This Is Good A Mori
CF: A Mori I Am On My Planet Right Now
CF: It Is The Land Of Carbon Fiber And Idols
CF: A Mori What Is The Name Of Your Planet Land
AM: I don't know?
AM: I'll talk to you later, Jose. I need to get to something important now.
AM: Goodbye.
CF: I Will See You Later With My Carbon Fiber Monocle
anatomicMegane [AM] has ceased germination with CarbonFibers [CF]

> [I] Get the game copy already.

(insert image)

ALRIGHT FINE FUCK YOU. However, it also occurs to you that you may very well need a STRIFE SPECIBI to use just in case it turns out that your FATHER decides to make a visit, as he occasionally does. You do have access to BOOKS, DEATH, and NEEDLES. Which do you choose?

> [I] Allocate Death to Strife Specibi.

SFANB Intermission 1 Page 13

Okay, but... well... you're probably not going to kill the guy. I mean, he is your dad. Maybe you should put something else in there for this theoretical encounter.

> [I] Allocate that other stuff to Strife Specibi


(image)

You do that. Champion.

> [I] Hurry the feck up and do something already.

(image)

Alright alright, we're going right now, so just calm down.</code>

<code>> [I] ====>

(image)

You proceed to go down the stairs to get the video games to play like a stupid piece of chip.

> [I] ====>

(image)

There, it's the front door. Now all you have to do is- OH MY GOD IT'S HIM

> [I] Ingage in STRIFE! with your father.

(image)

No point in doing that. He's just walking around aimlessly right now. You have more important matters to get to at the moment.

> [I] Get the game.

(image)

You get the SFANB GAME COPY and notice something.

The lawn is barren, seemingly empty. Your blood flows all through your body, as it always does every day all the time, yet in this exact moment it can be made into some sort of metaphor. A familiar note is produced. It's the one Calculation plays to make its audience turn like the curious flame of a particularly inquisitive candle.

It is some time after your seventeenth birthday, and as with all sixteen preceding it blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Let's just play the damn game already. You don't have time for fancy poetry.

> [I] Hurry inside

(image)

You get inside. Your father is still wandering around for some reason. Your server player is messaging you, along with someone else.

> [I] Answer this guy

(image)

radMechanics [RM] began pestering anatomicMegane [AM] at XX:XX
RM: I AM BACK FOLKS!!!
AM: ...
AM: Okay, while I appreciate your taking the time to bring the news out to myself,
AM: I find it strange that I am even put into this. I mean, we've never met before?
AM: I mean, in the least, I only know about you. But I'm sure that you don't know me at all.
RM: You are playing, SFANB?
AM: Yes.
RM: This advertising message is, meant to inform people about the SFANB game.
AM: ...
RM: Do you accept Fan-Boons?
anatomicMegane [AM] has ceased being pestered by radMechanics [RM]

> [I] Answer Haru

(image)

headlessYandere [HY] began pestering anatomicMegane [AM] at XX:XX
HY: hello mori!
AM: Hello, Haru.
HY: so, you have the sfanb game copy now?
AM: Yes, I do.
HY: great!
HY: i already got my server copy all set up, so if you join my server i can be your server player.
HY: which basically means i can get you into the medium.
HY: so, now all you need to do is get that disc into a computer.
AM: Right.
AM: I'm planning to use my basement's computers, by the way. Those have proven to be much more efficient.
HY: alright, man!
HY: see you when you start playing.
AM: Alright.
headlessYandere [HY] has ceased pestering anatomicMegane [AM]

> [I] Go to the basement

(image)

Yes, the basement. This place is fitted with a lot of your HIGH-TECH contraptions. You have a computer that you intend to use down here. Oh, and for the sake of speeding this along, you decide not to give any regard to the SEVERAL CLONES in those tubes as well as the SKELETAL REMAINS of your ANCESTOR which you collected on this location just a while ago.

> [I] Play the game.

(image)

You insert the GAME DISC. Oh, wow, this is some seizure-inducing stuff right here. This is going to mess up your eyes even more than they already have been. You turn away and take off your glasses for the remainder of the game's loading.

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