> Be the Poisonshot
Unfortunately you cannot be the Poisonshot because he R NOT LUDICRINE, HE LUDICRIME!!! You decide to be this guy instead. We already know what his name is, but why not go ahead and give you the chance to give him some shitty nickname that will likely be destroyed in some manner.
> Zoshers McZosho our lord and savior, AKA Shrekkers McShrek of the PBS.
HELL FUQQING NOH.
That name suggestion was so terrible, I kid you not, that it broke in half all on its own and jumped right into that trash can over there. Where did the trash can come from? Nobody gives a shit because they're paying attention to how terrible that was. That speechbox was so ashamed of its contents that it just performed the suicidal jump of shame, right into the bin at a perfect 90 degree angle which is not due to the fact that the author is lazy no not one bit.
Your name is ZACHARY ISLES, or ZOSHI for short. You live in a MODERN-LOOKING CASTLE HOME THING with many PETS which you got from the BUSINESS that you and a close friend own. The things you enjoy are NUMEROUS and VAGUE, and you'd rather not SPEND VALUABLE TIME AND LETTERS EXPLAINING SHIT PEOPLE ALREADY KNOW. One of your associates is talking to you about SOME GAME THAT COULD CHANGE THE WORLD. You have no idea what he's talking about.
> Look around.
You look around a little. On this side of the room there is a BLACK LEATHER SOFA, a KNIGHT'S HELMET set on a PEDESTAL, and an AVIS PAINTING. You can also see out of a LARGE WINDOW. You also notice that the color-scheme is generally greyscale.
Oh yeah, and there's your companion BLEEDOT. Wait... god damnit Bleedot, you just cleaned the carpet. You love Bleedot, but he never remembers to put on his bleeding sock. Why does Bleedot not bleed to death you ask? Nobody really knows. You just live with it.
> Continue examining the contents of your house
Alright, if you step over here you'll see that- GOD DAMNIT BLEEDOT NO
Bleedot proceeds to do a jig, splattering blood all over pretty much everything. Nothing can stop his urge to get down, not even the lack of a proper bleeding sock.
Guess what's black, white, and read all over? Now you can add your fucking house to that list. You have no idea how you're going to clean all of this blood up, but somehow it will likely be gone by the next panel.
> Consult associateface
Yep, the blood is gone just like the laws of lazy art editing would dictate.
You get out your LAPTOP that, you note, is not part of an overused joke, that being a fruit drawn on the back as a parody of a COMPANY IN SOME OTHER UNIVERSE. This is a genuine MICROSOFT WINDOWS LAPTOP. There's this other brand that practically has a cult following, but you'd rather not take part in their products, as your computer is clearly superior at gaming and processing.
PC master race And it was all the great ideas of those DEVELOPERS that made it come to life.
Wait... what were you doing? Oh right...
--zonelessInsomniac [ZI] began trolling hecticDemise [HD] at XX:XX-- [ZI]: Alright. Now that Bleedot has just pulled a Jackson Pollock on my house, I think I can spare some time to hear about this game nonsense. [HD]: Very gd. Yu've received the disk in the mail, crrect? [ZI]: The blue one with teh weird house on it? [HD]: Yes. In rder fr us to begin the prgram, you need simply t insert the disk in yur cmputer. [ZI]: I'm gonna want a better explanation ofhow thsi games gonna save the word or whatever but Ill just paly it for now. [HD]: Fair enugh. Start up the game and I'll give yu sme mre instructions. [ZI]: Mmk. --zonelessInsomniac [ZI] ceased trolling hecticDemise [HD] at XX:XX--
> INSERT LE DISK
You keep thinking to yourself that someday you'll remove that sticker in the corner, but it's been there for years. Here's the disk port.
Welp, here goes nothing...
> Plya da gaem
You insert the disk. Alright, the loading wizard has popped up and- WOOOAAAAAHHH
You wish the viewers could see the amazing wonder of what is this graphical masterpiece, however, they are sadly stuck on the other side of the screen. Unfortunately the game is loading rather quickly, and your shroom-like splendor is coming to a swift end.
> Consult Associate Again
Oh, right. You were going to talk to Hank again once you downloaded the game. Not like you forgot about that or anything...
or the white strip at the bottom of this page.
As you prepare to consult your associate for the fourtieth fucking time in the past twenty minutes, you must question if the viewers are questioning the fact that the AVIS PAINTING behind you keeps changing. If so, you would answer your viewer's question with another question, thus answering all of your questions. You would, if you had a question to answer the viewers' question with.
Wait, what the hell were you doing?? Oh, right, consulting your associate for the fourtieth fucking time in the past twenty minutes.